Inch by Inch - The Body Temple

INCH BY INCH - THE BODY TEMPLE ?????

 Well Here is a Story of a Gym that will teach you - 'How to Lose Your Mind and not your Weight!' (in contrast to Rujutha Divekars famous health book).

I always used to think that gym would be a place where one would try and achieve physical fitness through varied means. But here was a gym which changed my thinking to a great extent. It made me realize how a gym would fill your mind with superlative frustration.

The story goes down to the year 2012, wherein i joined this gym(read as circus) trying to achieve a glorious physical health but little did i know that i was about to lose my mental wealth. In that year i was trying to lose my ever increasing weight and was attempting to join a gym to get in shape! Then i joined a well known south Mumbai gym which calls itself 'The Body Temple' (i feel ashamed to use the word temple with this gym, but such is life with harsh realities). I went to this gym for 3 months and lost all my hope that i could achieve any level of mental fitness. This so called gym had trainers right of the Rambo circus! They were least interested in what i was doing after a special 3 day personal training session which they said was complementary with the 12k annual membership !! ( Bitch Please we are a gym and we give you free fitness training, how cool is that folks? I thought i will learn how to sing there.) Immediately after the 3 days the trainers started pestering me with paid training offers. Best part the trainers tummy was bigger than mine wherein i could definitely do a plank on his tummy. Then i thought maybe this is how it happens at all gyms, i should rather focus on my health and keep coming here regularly to wait for miracles to happen. But to my surreal dismay it just got worse, trainers did not care a hoot what i was doing after those 3 days. All the trainers were enjoying their lives at the gym, literally, gazing at females, cracking jokes and obviously teaching me why females would get all the help and i would be considered a pedestrian at this Body Temple ( Oops i used Temple again). Bottomline i quit this gym to start living my life peacefully. Only thing i did over here was ride the mystical treadmills and ellipticals and give up hope that i could ever do weights. All my family kept blaming me that i quit cause of my laziness ( Ummmm onus is always on you to go to a place which you paid for!)

Turn to 2014, and again this gym comes to haunt me. One of the interesting facts was my brother was still going to the gym for the past 2 years. The only reason he was going there was he did not need trainers to understand basics as he knew them all and it was much a case of travel convenience. Even he had a long drawn stream of frustration over the Rambo Circus trainers and preposterous cleanliness factors. Even my Bhabhi joined this year, and well now shes in a state of shock that how a circus is situated in South Mumbai's central location Tardeo ( well shit happens ). Coming to the story, now my sister had joined this gym (no one was ready to believe me it was place of dismay until they experienced it themselves!!!). Two weeks after joining the gym ( she went only once in this period), due to certain medical issues she was told by the doctor to discontinue going to the gym. She had paid 12k for this membership. Everyone asked me to take up her membership as a transfer as the reason was genuine. Now comes the real character of this story- The Manager , *drumroll*. I would call him Jackass ( Name has been changed to protect identity). Jackass told my brother to submit a letter so that he could transfer the membership. So a letter was drafted citing the reasons of transfer . I called up Jackass after a week to find out what was the status and i heard the most ludicrous answers. At first he said the application has been sent to the head office for approval ! ( Woah i did not realise if i had given a gym membership letter or a manufacturing bid which had to be processed so religiously). The next time i called Jackass he said that you will have to pay just 750 per month to transfer the membership. That offer just summed up what this gym was upto - disarrayed acrobatics at its best. Even a first grader would know that 750 per month is 9000 per annum, which is almost 85% of the membership fees. Kill me God to know this Math. I asked Jackass to give me the email address of someone incharge at the Head office to which he said there was a hierarchy to be followed and i couldnt breach the wall. Was it a fitness centre or a MNC with employee hierarchies applicable to customers. It sounded like a waiter at the hotel saying i wont call the Manager, tell me  what bugs you. Now my entire family and some friends have decided to put an end to this treacherous ordeal and quit the The Circus a.k.a The Body Temple. Long live the ringmasters with their stone age equipments and legendary trainers. #truestory